Some time we fill depressed by the things we pass through , we count our future on past weakness of our live s but we have to believe that our future will be driven by present right decision we ought and have to make during the rest of our lives.
Never count your future on past problems and difficulties you have passed through,,, work hard for your better future and i’m show that with a committed heart all things are possible…..
Let’s start with the bitter truth: You will never be as good as you think you should be. And life will never be as easy as you expected. All of us are faced with the same reality. There will inevitably be times when we slip up and fail to meet our (unreasonable) expectations of ourselves.…
Has life ever hit you so hard you wondered how you’d ever get out of the rut you’re in?
I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been there myself. And, above all, what you need to remember is that the next step is ultimately your choice…
Yes, it’s your choice. YOUR choice. You are choosing right now.
And if you’re choosing… to complain… to blame… to be stuck in the past… to act like a victim… to feel insecure… to feel anger… to feel hate… to be naïve… to ignore your intuition… to ignore good advice… to give up…
…then it’s time to choose differently.
But, let me also remind you that you are not alone. Generations of human beings in your family tree have chosen. Human beings around the world have chosen. We all have chosen at one time or another. And we stand behind you now whispering:
Choose to let go. Choose to be present. Choose to be positive. Choose to forgive yourself. Choose to forgive others. Choose to see your value. Choose to see the possibilities. Choose to find meaning. Choose to prove you’re not a victim.
Choose to find the motivation you need to take a step forward.
Kids must be taught how to think, not what to think.
Today our son, Mac, started Kindergarten. The experience of dropping him off for his very first day of school struck so many emotions in me. As every parent of a school-age child can attest, the very first day of school is a learning experience in and of itself. It’s one of those little milestones you anticipate and always remember.
Anyway, I awoke this morning thinking about the whole experience—of childhood, parenthood, and everything in between—and two thoughts immediately came to mind:
How in the world did Angel and I suddenly become parents to a kindergartner? Whoa! Time flies!
There are so many things I want to tell Mac as soon as possible, before he’s in high school with his friends and too cool to hear my little nuggets of wisdom. And before Angel and I go from “mommy and daddy who both know best” to “mom and dad who couldn’t possibly understand.”
So in no particular order, here are 40 things I intend to tell him and his little friends, repeatedly, over the next several years:
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. – Don’t base your attitude on how things are. Choose your attitude so it supports and expresses the way you wish to be. Frustration and stress come from the way you respond and react, not the circumstance themselves. Adjust your attitude, and the frustration and stress is gone.
What you experience starts with your perception. – In almost every case, nothing is stopping you… nothing is holding you back but your own thoughts about yourself and “how life is.” Your perception creates your beliefs. And your beliefs create your behaviors. And your behaviors produce your experience.
Let go of the need to complain about life. – Spend your moments actually living its beauty. Change the phrase “have to” to “get to.” So many things we complain about are things others wish they had the chance to do.
Positivity always pays off. – Your thoughts do not end when you finish thinking them. They continue to echo through your life. Choose wisely and intentionally. Be outrageously and unreasonably positive. Be funny and creative and ridiculous and joyful all at the same time. Smile as often as possible. A smile actually changes the vibe of your body. It alters, physiologically, the chemistry of your being. It will make you feel better and do better.
Negativity just shortens your life. – Before you waste it on anger, resentment, spite or envy, always think of how precious and irreplaceable your time is.
Worry is the biggest enemy of the present moment. – It does nothing but steal your joy and keep you very busy doing absolutely nothing at all. When you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want. (Read The Power of Now.)
Don’t run away from things; run toward them. – The best way to move away from something negative is to move toward something positive.
Nothing is as bad as it seems. Nothing. – There’s a benefit and a blessing hidden in the folds of every experience and every outcome.
Gratitude helps every situation. – How can you transform suffering into joy, and struggle into peace? GRATITUDE. Start being grateful for all the problems you do NOT have.
Everything is falling together perfectly, even though it looks as if some things are falling apart. – Trust in life’s process. Happiness is allowing yourself to be perfectly OK with what is, rather than wishing for and worrying about what is not. When life is “falling apart,” things could actually be falling together… maybe for the first time.
Change is necessary. – Change is the process of life itself. In fact, everything is changing every second of our lives. However good or bad the situation is now, it will change. That’s one thing you can count on. So never assume that you’re stuck with the way things are. Life changes, and so can you. Take a breath of fresh air. The past is long gone. Focus on what you can do, not on what you could have or should have done.
You are capable of handling far more than you think. – Accept each moment, without judgment or anxiety. Remind yourself that all is well, and that you can handle whatever comes along.
If you’re having problems, that’s good. – It means you’re making progress. The only people with no problems are the ones doing nothing.
It takes just as much energy to waste your time as it does to use it wisely. – It is far better to be exhausted from lots of effort and learning, than to be tired of doing absolutely nothing.
There’s a big difference between being busy and being productive. – Don’t confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but never makes any forward progress.
You can’t achieve what you do not attempt. – Everything you achieve comes from something you attempt. Everything! Make the attempt. The path between wanting and having is doing.
The right thing and the easy thing are rarely the same thing. – Do what matters, not just what is convenient. Do what is fulfilling, not just what is easy. When faced with a choice, choose the path that strengthens you. Choose to learn, choose to grow, choose to more fully become who you are.
You can’t be your best without first being yourself. – Be highly effective by being highly authentic. Take a moment to pause and remember who you are and what you stand for. Take a moment to reflect on the ideas and principles that have real and lasting meaning in your life.
Meaningful work is important. – You are at your best when you are moving toward a meaningful, positive and ambitious goal. So never follow goals you’re reluctant to pursue. Find ones that will keep you awake at night with excitement.
Always realign yourself with your highest priorities. – If you’re being pulled in every direction by forces beyond your control, take time to realign yourself with what you value most in life. What is important in your life is what you decide is important, and this decision will ultimately create who you are. (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Passion & Growth” chapter of the NEW volume of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
Set your sights high. – Make your dreams big, exciting and undeniable. They’re the ones that will push you forward. Whatever is beyond your reach right now will not always be beyond your reach. Keep going.
Miracles happen every day. – If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
If you’re going to do something, do it with enthusiasm and devotion. – Hold nothing back… In life. Or love. Or business. Or anything at all. Every morning, ask yourself what is really important and then have the courage to build your day around your answer.
Focused effort pays. – An attitude of “whatever is convenient” won’t accomplish much, ever. An attitude of “whatever it takes” is impossible to stop. So remember, effort does not cost you – it pays. What you invest in effort is never wasted. Sincere, focused effort always brings something of value – an outcome that teaches you what the next step is.
What you are capable of achieving is heavily based on how much you want it. – When it means enough to you, then you can do it. When you are willing and committed and persistent, you will get yourself there, every time.
You can always take a small step in the direction of your dreams. – There is absolutely nothing about your present situation that prevents you from following your dreams, one step at a time. Use each setback, each disappointment as a cue to push on ahead with more determination than ever before.
Set time aside to celebrate your progress at least once a month. – Look at how far you’ve come. You have made progress. And now, imagine how far you can go.
Other people’s opinions don’t have to be your reality. – Let the opinions of others inform you, don’t let them limit you. Learn to value yourself and what you stand for. Allow yourself to be yourself. If you don’t want what the world says you should want, have the courage to say so.
Break the rules sometimes. – Don’t break the law, but break the rules. If all you are doing is following someone else’s rules, then you have not grown, you have only obeyed.
You alone, get to choose what matters and what doesn’t. – The meaning of everything in your life is the meaning you give it.
Listen to your intuition. – When something feels right, that means it is right for you. When something feels wrong, that means it is wrong for you. Pay attention to your authentic feelings, and follow where they lead.
Own and embrace your imperfections. – Because once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you. (ReadThe Gifts of Imperfection.)
Every mistake is a step forward. – You cannot make a mistake; you can only make a decision that will be your next best step.
Every day is a clean slate. – Don’t you dare give up on Today because of the way things looked Yesterday. Don’t even think about it. Every day is a new day to try again.
No moment is wasted when you live it with presence and purpose. – Value and enjoy the journey, even when there are detours along the way. Appreciate every moment, whatever each moment may bring. From the genuine appreciation of these little moments will come a remarkable life.
Treat everyone, especially yourself, with kindness and respect. – Treat yourself as the most important person in the world, and treat others as you treat yourself. Do not miss a single chance – not one single opportunity – to tell someone how wonderful they are, how beautiful they are inside and out. Live so that people will enjoy your presence when they’re with you, and appreciate you just as much or even more when they’re apart from you.
Accept important apologies you never received. – If you love someone and you want to forgive them, relieve them of the need to apologize to you, for anything.
True love is freedom. – Love lets go. Let go of expectation, let go of requirements and rules and regulations that you would impose on your loved ones. The gift of pure love allows you to bless others and accept them without condition, granting them freedom to make their own choices.
Everyone you meet can teach you something important. – In fact, the people who are the most difficult to deal with can also be your most valuable teachers.
Above all, I think the best thing we can do for our kids as they grow is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong and responsible, allow them the freedom to experience things on their own terms, allow them to take the bus or the train and learn from life firsthand… allow them to be better people, allow them to believe more in themselves.
I Gradually Thank marc and angel for their Lessons.
Three good reasons it’s time for all of us to embrace change and move onward…
1. There’s plenty of life left to be lived.
It’s never too late to live a day that makes you proud. If you don’t learn anything else from this email, learn that. We get one shot at the present and we can make it great. Today is the day! There’s no age limit on changing your course, and to settle in and be stuck in a life that isn’t well is a tragic waste.
Honestly, it’s never too late or too early to be who you are capable of being. There’s no perfect time – you can simply start and stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. You can make the best or the worst of today. It’s up to you, so make the best of it. Do things that startle you. Feel things you’ve never felt before. Engage with people who help you grow. Live a life you’re proud of. And if you find that you’re not, have the courage to change things. (covered in the “Goals & Growth” module of “Getting Back to Happy”)
2. Holding on to old pain is self-abuse.
Your past has given you the strength and wisdom you have today, so celebrate it. Don’t let it haunt you. Replaying a painful memory over and over in your head is a form of self-abuse. Toxic thoughts create a toxic life. Make peace with yourself and your past.
When you heal your thoughts, you heal the health of your happiness. Now is the time to stop focusing on old problems and things you don’t want in your future. Because the more you think about them, the more you attract what you fear into your everyday experiences – you become your own worst enemy. (covered in the “Pain & Hardship” module of “Getting Back to Happy”)
3. Moving on creates positive change.
You may blame everyone else and think, “Poor me! Why do all these crappy things keep happening to me?” But the only thing those scenarios all have in common is YOU. And this is GOOD news, because it means YOU alone have the power to change things, or change the way you think about things.
There is something very powerful and liberating about surrendering to change and embracing it – this is where personal growth and evolution reside. (covered in the “Happiness & Positive Living” module of “Getting Back to Happy”)
And of course, if you’re struggling with any of this, know that you are not alone. Many of us are right there with you, working hard to feel better, think more clearly, and get our lives back on track. This is precisely why Marc and I built Getting Back to Happy. The course is filled with time-tested steps on how to do just that. And I’m thrilled to let you know that the full Getting Back to Happy course is now OPEN again to early access members.
Trust that today’s challenges will be responsible for your future growth.
Every day Marc and I work with course students who say all the right things and then do the exact opposite. They hope to experience growth, but they resist change. They want less stress, yet they indulge in drama. They long for better relationships, and then they refuse to trust anyone.
In other words, what they say they want, and what they actually do with their time, are hopelessly disconnected. And the two will likely never meet without intervention.
It’s important to note, though, that I get it. I understand where they’re coming from. I used to make the same mistakes. Change is hard to deal with. Needless drama can be addictive. Relationships take a lot of work. Life is not always as easy as we expect.
In a nutshell, when it comes to working hard to achieve a substantial life goal of any kind—earning a degree, building a business, fostering a relationship, raising a family, becoming more mindful, or any other personal achievement that takes time and commitment—one thing you have to ask yourself is:
“Am I willing to spend a little time every day like many people won’t, so I can spend the better part of my life like many people can’t?”
Think about it. We ultimately become what we repeatedly do. The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing—growing happens when what you know changes how you live.
And isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different? That’s the power of consistency.
Here are twelve things to start doing consistently for your long-term happiness:
1. Exercise your integrity.
Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you are capable of. Communicating clearly and asking for what you want and need from people. Speaking your truth, even when others judge you for it. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your morals and values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe. And, of course, always doing the right thing, even when it’s hard, and even when nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.
2. Steer clear of drama and those who create it.
There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the needless drama and the people who create it. Staying out of other people’s drama is an incredibly effective way to stress less and smile more.
A good rule of thumb: If you can’t say it to their face, you shouldn’t say it behind their back. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people.” Life is much too short to waste time talking about people, gossiping, and stirring up drama that has no substance. If you don’t know, ask. If you don’t agree, say so. If you don’t like it, speak up. But never judge people behind their back.
3. Replace judgment with encouragement.
No one truly knows what they will do in a certain situation until they are actually in it. Yes, it’s very easy to judge someone else’s actions by what you assume your own actions would be if you were in their shoes. But you only know what you THINK you would do, not what you WOULD do.
The truth is, we tend to judge others by their actions and ourselves by our ideals. So do your best to catch yourself when this happens. Remember that when we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person, and everything about our own need to be critical.
Bottom line: We have enough critics in this world. Be an encourager. You’ll see why.
4. Be positive and spend time with positive people.
Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them. Raise your awareness to your own inner strength and positivity. You are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life, or you can choose to be positive instead by focusing on the great things that are truly important. So talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems. Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing. Every great success requires some kind of worthy struggle to get there.
In addition, do your best to spend more time with positive people and less time with negative ones. People that deliberately doubt, judge and disrespect you are not worth your long-term time and attention.
5. Make new choices as needed, rather than letting old ones make you.
You don’t get to decide if or when you might get hurt in this world, but you do have some control over who and what hurts you. After all, who we ultimately become depends, in part, on who and what we let into our lives. So don’t just settle for relationships and situations that have proven to be unworthy. Exercise your right to choose differently.
Be the hero of your life, not the victim. You may not control all the circumstances that happen to you, but you can decide not to be continuously reduced by the same ones.
6. Simplify whatever you can, whenever you can.
As E.F. Schumacher once said, “Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.”
Simplifying is not seeing how little you can get by with – that’s poverty – but how efficiently you can put first things first, and use your time accordingly to pursue the things that make a lasting difference in your life. Less really is more. Instead of adding, improve your life by subtracting. Get rid of unnecessary clutter, negative influences and toxic relationships. There is a big difference between what you want and what you need – between what’s excessive and what’s essential.
7. Uphold your truth.
Too many of us prefer gentle lies to hard truths. But make no mistake, in the end it’s better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie. Especially if this lie is tied to your identity in any way. Because you can pretend for a while, but you can’t get away from yourself. You can’t decide not to see and feel yourself anymore. You can’t decide to turn off the noise in your head and be someone else entirely.
Don’t try to be what “they” like – be who you are. The people worth spending time with are interested in others who are confident enough to be themselves. And that works out well, because you won’t be happy being anyone else. (Read The Gifts of Imperfection.)
8. Express your love without reservations.
Love is a verb. Act on it. Today, be the reason someone feels incredibly loved and needed. Give your love away like your life depends on it.
Many moons from now, people won’t remember what clothes you wore, the car you drove, and maybe not even your name. But they will remember how you made them feel and the positive memories you gave them. The true impact you make on people will depend on the time and attention you give to teaching those who know less, caring for those who have less, supporting those who are striving, and tolerating those who are different than you. All of which represent the full expression of your love.
9. Nurture your relationship with your significant other.
Intimate love is not just about finding the right person, but working with them to create the right relationship. It’s not about how much love you have in the beginning, but how much love you build and nurture until the end. A relationship should be healthy, caring, loving, kind, upbeat and positive. It should make your smile a little wider and your life a little brighter in the long run.
A relationship like this sounds great, but it isn’t easy. It takes time and attention, and two people who are willing to work together every day to build something special.
10. Loosen your grip on what’s not meant to fit in to your life.
Things will happen that you will not always understand, but maybe you’re not supposed to understand everything. Maybe you’re just supposed to have faith, accept it and let it happen.
So never force anything. Give it your best shot, and then let it be.
Most negative circumstances are only a part of your life because you keep thinking about them. Positive things happen in your life when you emotionally distance yourself from the negative things. So stop holding on to what hurts, and make room for what feels right. Don’t let what is out of your control interfere with all the things you can control.
11. Embrace your humanness.
“Human” is the only real label we are born with. Yet we forget so easily.
To become attached to an opinionated label of depressed, divorced, diseased, rejected, or poor, is to be like the rain, that doesn’t know it is also the clouds… or the ice, that forgets it is water. For we are far more than the shape we’re currently in. And we, like the wind, water, and sky, will change forms many times in our lives, while forever remaining beautifully human.
12. Ask yourself the right questions.
What questions are you asking yourself on a regular basis? Are they helping you better understand your purpose? Or do they have your mind spinning in circles?
Truth be told, the questions you’re regularly exposed to act as guideposts that have a powerful influence on the direction of your life. And, not surprisingly, the questions you hear most often come directly from YOU. So instead of looking outside yourself for answers, start asking yourself the right questions. For instance…
“Who am I?”
“What do I need?”
“How do I function best?”
“What do I have to give?”
“What’s the next step I can take right now?”
It’s all about self-inquiries that help you stay true to your principles, pursue your desires, grow through adversity, and add value to the world around you. (Marc and I cover dozens of important life questions as a theme that radiates through every chapter of our NEW edition of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
Now, it’s your turn…
Today, I hope you will have a delightful day, that you will dream boldly and dangerously, that you will make something that didn’t exist before you took action, that you will love and be loved in return, and that you will find the strength to accept and grow from the troubles you can’t change. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and wisdom in this crazy world), that you will, when you must, be wise with your decisions, and that you will always be extra kind to yourself and others.
And, please leave Marc and I a comment below and let us know what you think of this post. Your feedback is important to us.